Mommy and papa were a year older 2 months and a months ago respectively. Its has been 4 years since i last celebrate their birthday with them. Its our family ritual that we celebrate our birthday together. We will go out and enjoy a nice meal together. For the past 4 years, its all text messages and phone calls for birthday wishes. I sent in presents every year though. Always asked people who are going back to pass them to my parents.
When i was still at the uni, all i can afford is a nice shirt from next for mommy or a smart tie from tie rack for papa. A year later, it was a bag for mommy and a shirt for papa, which were also pretty cheap. Last year, i started working part time in a bakery, hence some money to splash on their presents, but i bought nothing. Instead, i sent in some cash for them to spent in all they want, but mommy ended up giving the money back to me, by buying me a bag! Haih mommy. So literally, i did gave them their presents every single year, and i did it in my own way. I know, whatever i'll give them, they'll appreciate it anyway.
So this year, im thinking of something more special. Since i am now a working woman, i know i can afford to get them something more valueable and a little bit more exclusive. I dont come from a rich family. I dont live in a villa with 8 bedrooms and a swimming pool, but my parents have always work something out to give us what we want. My parents very rarely says no, well we literally give in if we want something. Ha ha. So that kinda explains why i supposed. But, thats not the point. The point is that, they will try their very best to give us what we want. That includes having to let go of their needs and desire just to get us what we want. I dont remember not getting anything that i want, as long as we dont asked for something that are obviously out of my parent's capabilities. We know our limit, and we know what they can and cannot afford.
After all these years, they still sometimes keep their wants aside, because until now, they will still give us what we want, even when we are already working. So after a very long time, its time to give them back what they deserve. Its time to give them back what they want when they never got that chance to have it because their kids are more important than what they want.
Why cant i spent it on them as much as i spent it on a music festival or on a pair of shoes and bag or on something that is just as expensive. Money comes, money goes. But the love and sacrifices that they showered us with, will never fade away neither will it ever go away. Sometimes, i have that "wow, too expensive" thought and i feel bad for saying that, cause its my parents i'm talking about. I felt selfish for having to say that, felt ugly for even having that kinda thought in my head. Its ok for not having to spent something for myself for a month or so. Its ok for not being able to go out for a month or so. Because its always ok for them for not being able to have that thought the moment they held us in their arms they day we were born. Being skint for a month, is absolutely nothing compare to that.
I am ashamed of myself for having that ugly thought. I worked hard for the money i earned, which is for myself, while they worked hard for the money they earned for the sake of their children. How is that better than me having to sacrifice just a month salary, compare to the sacrifices that they've made the moment the nurse slap my butt when i was introduced to their world? Its NOTHING! We all forget that as we grow old chasing fame and success, they're growing old too, not for the same reason, but simply wanting us to be happy and to love them, the way they ever loved us and that is quite easily all that they ever wanted. How can MONEY ever buy that?
-lady-
