Crap they said about me

These are real things people said about me. So i figure out, might as well i document it down. Who knows 10-20 years down the line, the blog is still around, i might wanna do the "walk down memory lanes" kinda thing.

1. Crazy (pretty much everyone says that i am..u tell me then ay?)

2. Loud (dont need no one to tell me this, i know i am, sorry folks! But i am slowing down as age is catching up. Ha ha)

3. Nasty (these people know who they are)

4. Cool (i honestly hope this is a genuine compliment, cause if it is, gheez thanks!)

5. Good dancer (with all due respect, but i think these compliments come from a bad dancer, well i move a bit here and there, but who doesnt?)

6. Funny voice (i admit i have an annoying and funny voice..its not even funny!)

7. Very friendly (my sister always tell me to tone it down a bit)

8. Naughty (my closest friends keep nagging like i am 13..when im actually going 30!)

9. Stubborn (i get this a lot from a lot of people)

10. Tomboy (my papa and mommy actually find it weird if i wear a skirt)

11. Arrogant (lots of people actually come up to me and tell this to my face..HONEST!)

12. Confident (every interviewer said this to me, but only few actually followed-up..they lied perhaps?)

14. Smart (my current bosses always tell me this, and it kinda lift me up every time)

15. Cute (only Umpy says this to me..and he does it every time *smitten* he's my boyfriend, so its one of those things that a boyfriend does? Ha ha)

I didnt made those up, i just thought i'd share it with you. But if it creeps you out, i actually wonder why you even bother reading my blog the first place?

So that's pretty much how people look at me in person really. Nothing's fake about me, well maybe my attitude towards you, and that's if you're really getting on my nerves, and plus you're fake yourself!



magnificient

 

-lady-

Lady's bucket list

Since I am 13 going on 30, i figure out maybe its 'that' time to have my own bucket list, and since I'm turning 30 in a month or so, maybe I should list 30 things to do before i die. Well, its for fun, and at least it could help motivates me to strive harder. So let's see what i have in my crazy mind ay?

1. Sky diving

adrenaline rush

2. Bungee jumping

3. Learn how to swim (umpy promised to teach me)

4. Bring my parents to Haj

5. Buy my own property in the UK and Malaysia

6. Live and work in NYC

NYC baby

7. Test drive a Ferrari (no, i don't wanna own one!)

8. Witnessing a perfect sunset and sunrise

9. Buy my parents a property

10. Bring my parents on a shopping sphere

11. Marry my Umpy

12. Get on a rollercoaster (those really crazy ones)

13. Go to all seven wonders in the world

Machu Picchu

14. Be part of Celebrity Juice (LOL)

15. To go out and wear high heels the whole day (i don't wear high heels, so its a challenge if i do!)

16. To go on a shopping sphere at Topshop, and then its close to the public cause I'm doing my shopping..ALONE!

17. To sit beside the pilot in an Airbus A380's cockpit

18. Climb Mount Everest (should start with Kilimanjaro first u reckon?)

19. Learn how to play a guitar and a bass

20. Learn how to play drums

21. Donate to Charity (i know, but i am talking about 5 figures)

22. Splash my money on SIA's First Class (not them normal ones)

23. Have my own empire (could be anything from stalls, to shops perhaps companies)

24. Visit the fishing village at Cinque Terre,Liguria

 

gorgeous

25. Go roller-disco in 70s outfit

26. I want to try and memorized the whole al-Quran

27. Honeymoon on the space

28. A visit to Antartica

29. Backpacking around the world

30. To die peacefully as a good and obedient Muslim

That's a long list, and if I can just challenge myself to do all those, I'll be the happiest girl alive. I say "Get in there son!!!"

-lady-

Church visit

About a week ago, i went out with a friend. We were trying to kill some times because the restaurant that we were planning to go to will only opened in 30 minutes time. Few blocks away is a building that was used for concerts and stuff. But today, it was renovated and turn into a church. So i figure out, why not, cause i've never been in a church before. Well maybe once when i had to collect my graduation gown, but the church was transformed completely into a wardrobe full of graduation gowns, so that's different.

So we went in. We had a volunteer who works for the church showing us around. So i went into every possible room they have. Baptism room, wedding room and also the library. Its a new experience. Getting to know how does the church actually looks like, i know it sounds stupid (a church is a church), but its good to know. This friend of mine is an atheist. She told me that she doesnt believe in God, but wanted to believe in one, so she decided to go to church to find out.

So i asked her "why Christian, and why not Islam, like myself?" So she said she would like to know about Islam too, but the sad part is that, i dont even know how to explain it to her, in an attempt to make her understand why Islam is the best religion in the whole universe. It makes me think, how do we make people believe and understand that Islam is the best religion when as a Muslim, we dont even know how to tell them that. We make people believe that Islam is a terrorist religions, because of people like me, who failed miserably to explain to these non-Muslims that its just an ambush to make us Muslims look bad.

She even planned to go to the church again together one day, and i told her that i maybe look like i dont care, but i am a proud Muslim, that i was born a Muslim, and will die as a Muslim. Then i thought to myself "how many Muslims got lost along the way while trying to get into the right path, thinking that converting into another religion is the best option?" Its sad really to think that a Muslim actually convert into some other religions, believing it suits them better when they were born with the best religion in the whole universe.  

I am ashamed of myself, and to Him, Allah swt. The moment i step my feet into that church, every nanosecond beat of my heart knows that Islam is where i belong, and how i desperately wish she can see that too. Islam is beautiful. Its simple and yet so powerful. I pray that one day, Allah swt will guide me and her, so that i wont get carried away so far, and for a long time. I am a Muslim, and i practice them. Its just that sometimes, old habits never die. Everyday i pray that He will open my heart, and show me the way back to where i belong. InsyaAllah

شَرَعَ لَكُم مِّنَ الدِّينِ مَا وَصَّى بِهِ نُوحًا وَالَّذِي أَوْحَيْنَا إِلَيْكَ وَمَا وَصَّيْنَا بِهِ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَمُوسَى وَعِيسَى أَنْ أَقِيمُوا الدِّينَ وَلَا تَتَفَرَّقُوا فِيهِ كَبُرَ عَلَى الْمُشْرِكِينَ مَا تَدْعُوهُمْ إِلَيْهِ اللَّهُ يَجْتَبِي إِلَيْهِ مَن يَشَاء وَيَهْدِي إِلَيْهِ مَن يُنِيبُ {13

(42:13) He has prescribed for you the religion which He enjoined upon Noah and which We revealed to you (O Muhammad), and which We enjoined upon Abraham and Moses and Jesus, commanding: “Establish this religion and do not split up regarding it.” What you are calling to is very hard upon those who associate others with Allah in His Divinity. Allah chooses for Himself whomsoever He pleases and guides to Himself whoever penitently turns to Him.

-lady-

mumford and sons

oh hello! dont remember the last time i blog. i know it has been sometimes, been busy. or perhaps, just pretending to be busy. it has been a month now since i am back to this west side of the world. nothing has changed. i am still alone, in case ure wondering. No, umpy is not back yet. Yes, i know it has been too long now. No, i dont know when will he be back. Yes, i will wait for him. There you go! Should be able to answer all questions aint it?

Just like mumfies's "i will wait for you" i supposed. i will wait for him, all those promises that he made, might me broken, but i am pretty sure there's a strong reason for it. people might not know, but i know him well. he will come back, its just a matter of time. I dont know how to swim, but there's not enough water under the bridge to make me drown, not yet. I am surviving i supposed.

I bought Babel two weeks ago, and i'm stuck with it until now. Keep destroying the shuffle button over and over again. For me, their materials are just sublime! Among the best album i've ever bought. The words are properly written. So meaningful that people forget to enjoy the music. I am positive that when they write their songs, its for everyone to enjoy and listen, and yet, there's still some of them out there who refuse to share it and destroy the meaning of music. Hands down, some songs are about Jesus indeed, but why are we fighting about it. Just enjoy the music, and stick to your beliefs. In my opinion, the album itself is about love. The love that we have for God, the love that we have for our loved ones.

Believe it or not, their album actually gives me hope. Its beautifully written. I feel like umpy is right beside me, very close to me, as close as he is to my heart, while some songs do remind me of my past, the past that made me who i am today. All those journey into love and life, makes me a better person. I still stumble to the ugly past, but i am trying hard to not get carried away. Love that i have is pure. I love this man, and only he can makes me happy. i dont regret my past, but i dont think i will go back and do it again too. its that phase in life, that growing phase. Mumford and sons just bring me back those memories. Listening to it is like a long walk down memory lanes.

i guess that's the reason why i feel so connected to the album. Not forgetting the beautiful sound of the song itself. i am a hopeless romantic, but the more i listen to the album, the more i want umpy to come home fast. He could possibly be the best thing since sliced bread for me. I have people telling all sort of things, but its only been few months, not even years. i can wait, and i will wait. Plus, i am currently enjoying my single life. I have good company around me. These people make me happy. They know who they are.

As for now, i will wake up everyday, hoping that time will pass by fast, and waiting for that day to come when i will be able to say "umpy, stop picking your nose!" or even "umpy, shut the FART up!". I miss that boy, God willing, he'll come back soon enough to keep my cold night warm, and most importantly, to fill in that empty space in my life.

Nothings sad and pathetic about waiting. Its that part of life. Look at them people, they're happy! Life is too short to be sad. Stay positive!

-lady-

Sense of belonging

Have you ever feel like you dont belong? Sea of people surrounding you, noises are almost unbearable, and yet you still feel like you dont belong. Lucky you if you dont. Living away from my family is not hard, but living away, so far away from my family is hard. I used to stay at the university's accomodation when i was doing my diploma, which was 4 hours drive away from home. Its not hard, cause i go home almost every other 2 weeks. But staying 13 hours away, travelling by airplane, and 8 hours time different is hard. On top of that, "illusioning" and noticing that people look at you differently is worst, especially when you get that cold shoulder because you are different. Not blonde, not fair, not tall and ASIAN.

At times, it drives me mad, but most of the times, i just dont care. You know what they say "when in Rome, do as the Romans do". The stare that could leave a hole on your face and that unfair treatment just because youre not one of them. After almost 5 years, i can still feel the snarling, although these days, i just write it off and let it be. Its hard to believe that its difficult to be nice. All i want is to be treated equally, i dont ask to be regarded highly, but all im asking is just a little bit of respect, in the name of mankind.

*sense of belonging*

What annoys and disgusts me the most is the fact that i got more mental abuses from the elderly. Well dont mind about the youngsters, ive been there, although my "ASBO" (anti-social behaviour order) wasnt involving being rude, unless you start it first. Ive been pushed, been stared, been discriminate..you name it! Its a disgrace. We are in the 20th century for goodness sake! The mentality gotta change.

I am living here on my own. I pay my own rent, get a job with my own hardwork and pay my taxes like everyone else. I am not entitle to any benefits, and even if i do, i dont need them. Hands down to those who take advantage of these so-called easy-money income, especially those EU immigrants, who is fast to do so the moment they step their feet on this land. Lips sealed for those whos been here forever i supposed ay! Believe me when i say that almost EVERY single European that i know is on benefits from the UK government. Theres even Arabs who doesnt speak a single word in English is on benefits!

Well, thats none of my business. But my point is that, we're in the 20th fucking century for fuck sake! Discriminations and racisms have gotta go! Orange, cream, tan, white or black, we are all human beings. These are all borrowed to us. One day, these will all be taken, and the only place that we belong to would be with Him, Allah swt. Wallahualam.

-lady-

Tale of a wisdom tooth

Last week, i went to see the dentist. Ive been having this toothache since forever as far as i remember. I thought it was a hole, so all it needs, is the filling. The pain is sometimes unbearable that it brought tears to my eyes. Other times, it annoying me cause the food keep getting stuck. The pain mostly cause by that, and i dont enjoy my food when it did. I am a big-eater, so i want to be able to eat without having to worry about how to pick the food out of my tooth later.

I know the dentist will cost me fortune here in London. Umpy removed and filled his tooth for a handsome £1,500.00! Say what? That was years ago, and that was mother-fucking-ass-hole-ing expensive! With that amount of money, i can get myself a nice handbag AND on top of that, to pay off my rent. Yeah, for some lucky people out there, £1,500.00, cost them A BAG, but i could get more than just a bag, u know what i mean? But oh well, my point is that, its hellalot of money dude. So forget these crazy throat-cutting dentist, instead i go home, back in Malaysia and did it for a tiny £150.00.

So i went in, confident! The moment i sat on that dentist chair, my heart beats fast! The hell? Less than a minute, the lady dentist, said its a wisdom tooth, i need to remove it. Half of the tooth was in the gum, so it came out half, hence the gap i.e. hole. If i dont remove it, there's a good possibility, that there will be a hole on that last tooth before the wisdom tooth. Plus, our wisdom tooth is "functionless", as per the dentist. It left me with no choice but to remove it.

Ive decided to remove it the next day so i can eat as many food as i want today, as the dentist told me that i'll be on a liquid diet for at least 2-3 days. She said its not gonna hurt a bit, so i trusted her. It was in the morning. The minor surgery took me 1 hour. Oh my gosh, i feel like crying while opening up my cheek, because i had to do so for 1 bloody hour and its fucking tiring! And because its tiring, it kinda hurt a bit having to open up your mouth that wide, that long! She said its difficult to pull it out because its my biting side, and because it is, the tooth got even deeper inside the gum. She kept changing and looking at different equipments trying to pull my tooth out, its that hard!

*my wisdom tooth*

An hour later, its done. It was such a relief. The dentist start sewing the gum that she cut earlier, and i still didnt feel a thing. It did not hurt a bit, cause i was drugged for approximately 2 hours. She then told me, it will be gone in 1/2 hours time. I was asked to take the paracetamol when i start feeling the pain. It was supposed to be after 30mins that i should feel the pain, but instead it kick in after 20mins. OMFG, it hurts so fucking bad i swear! I took the paracetamol, it was so strong i felt asleep immediately, and woke up only to change the gauze, and then later in the late evening. Its like a proper surgery, except that its in your mouth. RESTING after the surgery, is a MUST!

No one told me its gonna hurt so fucking bad after the surgery, but not during the surgery. Well, thats everyone's main concern when they're undergoing an operation, so i understand if the dentist was reluctant to tell me that "tale" of a post surgery. Also, here's a NO-NO after the surgery:

1. No smoking

2. No gargling

3. No spitting

4. No hot food and beverages

5. No rubbing the area with your tongue

6. No sucking (oi, stop that thought. No straw sucking i mean!)

I was given two different types of anti-biotics and three different types of painkillers. Thats a lot of pills to swallow at one time, but ive never had problems with medicine, so i'm cool about it. What sad is that, it was my 2nd and last week at home, and my plan of eating lotsa food before i come back to London gone outta window. I was left with a humongous left cheek because of the inflammation, inability to open up my mouth and also not being able to eat properly. The dentist said that the stitches will dissolve by itself, and up til today, i can feel it with my tongue, like its hanging out of nowhere like a food stuck between your teeth, its bloody annoying!

*three different painkillers*

A week later today, it still in its healing process. Ive done researches on the internet, that it took months for the surgery to actually heal completely. Although i can already eat solid food by now, but i am very careful not to eat on that side of my mouth, plus its still difficult for me to open my mouth. I eat very slowly that sometimes its kinda frustrating not being able to eat normally. My cheek, they're smaller now, but i can still see the bump, and it still hurt until now. I cant touch my left cheek, but if i have to, i will do it very carefully and gently. I still have that tingling feeling on that side of my mouth, where sometimes i can feel the sensation due to the surgery that i had.

Well, i maybe forget how it feels like having done the surgery say a year from now, so its better if i blog about it today, so i wont be that confident about removing another tooth if i have to one day. I vow to not visit the dentist ever again! Never! I will take good care of my teeth. Promise! 

Guess i was wise for a good few months coming into the big three O, and back to not being so wise now, or maybe i dont need wisdom tooth after all. I am a wise girl indeed...or am i? Oh what the hell! Now, which one of u is my stingy tooth fairy who took away my wisdom tooth, and yet leave nothing under my pillow? Hmm..

-lady-

Happiness

it has been a month or so since i last blog. well thats because ive been busy trying to keep myself busy. trying to forget that i am all alone managing London as ive never done so before. hence i proudly would like to inform everyone that ive done well, thank you! its not that bad. it was hard the first few days, but then it gets better. probably because i have friends who tried to cheer me up, and workloads that fucked me up. plus, i was back at home for a good 2 weeks. 

i know ive shared the good news before, but oh well. its my blog, i bragged if i want to *bluek*. the first week after umpy left was the week where ACCA result was out. i am so nervous, that i forget to how sad it is to be left alone. nightmare of keep on failing the same paper never really left me, that i literally deny the fact that i will pass the paper like ever. i remember waking up that morning, half awake, grabbed my ipad, checking out my email. i cant believe my eyes, but my other hand was already calling home to inform my parents the good news. i re-read the email, twice, three times just to confirm until i read the line "congratulations on completing the papers...." i cried like a baby. i called home, crying at the same time trying to tell my father that ive completed them crazy ACCA papers. it was hardwork. never give up. never say no. it finally paid off. Alhamdullilah.

ive learn that living alone wasnt so bad after all. u feel alone for a while, but after sometimes, u kinda realize that u actually need that time alone to urself. rather than having only Saturday to myself, i had the whole week day and night all by myself for the past 1.5months. it was indeed very exciting and serene i must say. but dude, the internet served me well. phone calls and skype everyday. feels like he never left me by my side. hes here, close to my heart. 

and then it was my baby sister's wedding. oh my days, it was beautiful. it was tiring. it was chaotic. it was so much fun. it was simply magical. i cant thank people enough for having their time spare for this meaningful event. she was beautiful. she looks happy. trust me, she was a nerve-wreck. worried sick that things wont go her way. knowing how choosy and fussy she is, i had to make sure that she remains calm. it went well. my parents were the happiest people on planet that day. my mom doesnt realistically cry, she only does so fictionally i.e. reading novels, watching dramas. ha ha. shes from another planet my mother. so yeah, the questions that i will never get sick of answering would be "when will we see you on that dais?" my answer u ask? "insyaAllah" (God willing), one day perhaps *grins*.

*reunited*

*the reception*

*the dais*

*i love them girls*

*group pictures*

*solemnization dais*

*just married*

summary for the past 1.5months, happiness all along! baby sister is now happily on her honeymoon. my umpy is coming home. ive completed my ACCA exam. what else can i ask for? well maybe a new job will complete my high flying twenty twelve. anyone need an accountant? 

cheers!

-lady-