Sense of belonging

Have you ever feel like you dont belong? Sea of people surrounding you, noises are almost unbearable, and yet you still feel like you dont belong. Lucky you if you dont. Living away from my family is not hard, but living away, so far away from my family is hard. I used to stay at the university's accomodation when i was doing my diploma, which was 4 hours drive away from home. Its not hard, cause i go home almost every other 2 weeks. But staying 13 hours away, travelling by airplane, and 8 hours time different is hard. On top of that, "illusioning" and noticing that people look at you differently is worst, especially when you get that cold shoulder because you are different. Not blonde, not fair, not tall and ASIAN.

At times, it drives me mad, but most of the times, i just dont care. You know what they say "when in Rome, do as the Romans do". The stare that could leave a hole on your face and that unfair treatment just because youre not one of them. After almost 5 years, i can still feel the snarling, although these days, i just write it off and let it be. Its hard to believe that its difficult to be nice. All i want is to be treated equally, i dont ask to be regarded highly, but all im asking is just a little bit of respect, in the name of mankind.

*sense of belonging*

What annoys and disgusts me the most is the fact that i got more mental abuses from the elderly. Well dont mind about the youngsters, ive been there, although my "ASBO" (anti-social behaviour order) wasnt involving being rude, unless you start it first. Ive been pushed, been stared, been discriminate..you name it! Its a disgrace. We are in the 20th century for goodness sake! The mentality gotta change.

I am living here on my own. I pay my own rent, get a job with my own hardwork and pay my taxes like everyone else. I am not entitle to any benefits, and even if i do, i dont need them. Hands down to those who take advantage of these so-called easy-money income, especially those EU immigrants, who is fast to do so the moment they step their feet on this land. Lips sealed for those whos been here forever i supposed ay! Believe me when i say that almost EVERY single European that i know is on benefits from the UK government. Theres even Arabs who doesnt speak a single word in English is on benefits!

Well, thats none of my business. But my point is that, we're in the 20th fucking century for fuck sake! Discriminations and racisms have gotta go! Orange, cream, tan, white or black, we are all human beings. These are all borrowed to us. One day, these will all be taken, and the only place that we belong to would be with Him, Allah swt. Wallahualam.

-lady-