Thursday, 13 February 2014

nothing sweet about me

it has been months since I last update my blog. so since then, here's what I found out:

1. I hate salad. I cannot eat anymore raw vegetables after the 3rd mouthful.

2. My face is asymmetrical. My right cheek is bigger than the left one. Weird!

3. I only wear size 4, not 3.5, neither 4.5. only 4! Shoes I mean.

4. I've been in London for quite sometimes now, but I don't think I know London as much as I should. So its time to explore London!

5. There will be a tiny bit of chewing gum stuck on my teeth every time I eat it. EVERY FUCKING TIME. Annoying!

6. The telly will be on from 11am ALL THE WAY to 11pm on the weekends. Not even 1 min of switching off.

7. Trying to prove something that I thought is right was wrong, when my guts says I am right, and turn out I am right all along. Get what I mean? No? Me too!

8. There will be a warning of 2 days crazy headache before I get know what!

9. I look ugly in working attire, but what I don't know is that, I am not pretty to begin with. LOL

10. I kept repeating what I said when I am trying to explain A LOT! Feel like a douchebag now.

11. I spoke broken English when I'm nervous, not that I can speak good English, but its horrible especially when that conversation is THE deal breaker!

12. I also speak a lot when I'm nervous. So, SPEAK A LOT OF BROKEN ENGLISH *pull the trigger*

Lunch time is up!

Weekends is just around the corner.
So does Valentine's Day.
Have a good one lovers!

I'm holding on alright in case you're wondering

"just because I'm smiling, doesn't mean I'm happy, it means that I am holding on, because there's more to life than sulking and feeling sorry for myself"


Wednesday, 25 December 2013

hopeless romantic

it has been sometimes since i went on a first date. well come to think of it, i NEVER really have a first date actually. probably because i am a hopeless romantic like that. but i figured that i would love to go on MY ideal first date sometimes soon perhaps?

i am not all romantic queen whatnot, but i can be one if i want to. i always have this idea of my ideal first date. its just that i never really have a chance to do so. it might not be your cuppa tea, but its mine.

1. Hiking
unfortunately they dont have "hollywood hill" in London, but i would love to go hiking on my first date. its interesting and healthy for gym haters like myself. so go on, bring me hiking on my first date will you?

2. Wall or rock climbing
i love the idea of either walk or rock climbing. at least its something to remember somewhere down the line. its fun don't you think so?

3. Night stroll
London is pretty during the day, but its prettier at night. a nice stroll along the Embankment. London Eye and Big Ben within your sight, isn't it beautiful?

4. Take a walk with me
That's all I'm asking really. I don't mean along Oxford Street or anywhere in London for that matter. Surprise me!

5. Paint balling
A game of paint balling is interesting. Always wanted to go for a paint ball, but never really got a chance to do so. Shame! But the idea of paint balling for a first date..hmm, i like that.

6. Teach me how to play any musical instrument
I've always wanted to play musical instrument especially drums, bass and guitar. When I was younger, I asked my dad to send me to a drum learning class, but what i got was "you're a girl, you're not supposed to play any drums or guitars". meh! So come on, teach me how to play a guitar or drums on our first date. I'd love that!

7. Take me to a concert
I love all things rock and roll. So a pair of tickets to watch the strokes or foo fighters or jake bugg or arctic monkey on a first date would be super awesome!

Also, as I'm getting older (young at heart, mind you!), i know what i DONT WANT on a first date.

1. Clubbing
That will be the last time i will ever speak to you

2. Dinner date
Spare that for later will you? I don't want any expensive dinner date on a first date, neither would i want my first date to be at Nandos or McDonald's or Burger King..or worst, the kebab shop!

3. Shopping
I can do that myself. I don't you to come with me on a shopping spree UNLESS if you say "let's go shopping, take anything you want!" LOL

4. Cuddle-ing
If that's your idea on a first date, seriously..KILL YOURSELF!

5. Movie date
First, i HATE movie, second, what am i gonna do in a cinema? well fine, it helps that you will be able to have something to talk about later, but as i ALREADY hate movies, I'm afraid it wont work for me!

Just an idea. Whatever it is, i hope your first date will be the most memorable ones. 

Love itself, is not based on where or what you do on a first date, its how you accept your other half in the best way possible. Sometimes, what you want is not always what you need, or perhaps, not what you will get. 

So love honestly, and embrace it. Let go when you have to. If it meant to be, it will be. If its won't, its not the end of the world, instead, its the beginning of something new, perhaps, something even better maybe. 

Remember, God have plans for every single one of us. His plans will work eventually. Just be patient, and live your life like there's no tomorrow.  



Tuesday, 17 December 2013


I'm seeing spider webs on my blog. its THAT long since I last blogged something. 
I literally choose the right timing to blog now. Yes kids, its fucking economy! yippie.
I've said this once, twice and I'll said it again, that every time when there is a proposed budget from the government, people will start complaining and whining and getting all emotional (sometimes the report hasn't even been presented just yet. shocking!) for no reason. I understand that perhaps some of us need a proper understanding of how economy works in simple terms, but what I found interesting and quite dumbfounded really, were those who complaint and whine are the educated ones, the smart ones, the high achievers, the successful ones, the ONES who quite rightly must've read some books or at least a newspaper to really understand what's going 
please, do call me ignorance or stupid or asshole or full of bulls or whatever that suits your interests, but those who complaint MUST'VE BEEN FUCKING KIDDING ME! Also, I saw one post on twitter about a Malaysian who lives in German and praise the country for being cheap bla bla bla. Those who don't already know, living in German is like living outside of KL in the suburban area. The city is dead over the weekends. And if you're as thick as the fella is, or more like shameless in this case, go on and live with social benefits in FOREIGN COUNTRIES, when you don't even deserve a PENNY FOR THAT! 
why are you complaining? you can't afford to pay rm1500 for a house but you do because everyone else have big houses and so you should too!! boohoo. you can't afford to drive a Honda but you want to because national car is "not cool"!! fucking screw you. you can't afford those handbags you bought with your credit cards, and your debts are piling up and you can's afford the petrol because all your money has been wasted on those stupid bags! smart moves bimbo. everyone wants to live like a king, but you're not even a fucking prince! so stop spending like your mom's Queen Elizabeth.
if you maybe have time to read newspapers, you'll know that EVERY COUNTRY in the world will experience high living cost due to the countries' spending expenditure for the sake of their people. have you ever heard of saving? have you heard of balance life style? have you ever heard of smart spending? why..clearly not, because if you know you cant afford a mortgage of rm1500, why do you say yes? blaming the bank for what? they're making money out of you!!! they're not stupid. they're called BANK for a reason. savings of rm1500 out of rm2500 salary per month, u must've been kidding me??! pretty sure u went to the university for something right??
politicians games. the best excuse ever! don't you ever forget who let you in when everyone else wants you out! don't you forget who gives you educations when everyone else don't care! don't play stupid with me. you don't even know half of the games, and suddenly everyone's an honest and transparent politicians.
rather than whine and complaint, don't you think its best that you channel your seemingly overloaded ideas into your daily scope of productivity? what did you get by whining? take a good look at yourself before you simply slam the door shut to those "dirty people" who provides you a good life in Malaysia. it may not be perfect, but it could've been worst.
Do you think they'll pity us Malays if not the Malays ourselves?
"First help yourselves, before you help one another" the best life mantra, don't you think so?
how does it feel on your arse aye?

Tuesday, 19 November 2013

mating season

how does it feel like to fall in love again? do you feel that tingling sensation running through your body? do you smile every time you wake up and before you go to sleep? how does it feel like to fall in love?
I have a boyfriend, or maybe I wont be having any soon enough, God knows. Its complicated, but I'll deal with it as I go along. I have people telling me to not wait no more, I have people asking me what am I doing, but what people never asked is that "you really love him that much huh?". Instead I told them because I love him too much. If one day, me and him will never going to work out *knock wood*, then at least there's a piece of beautiful memory that I can keep with me and proudly say I was in love, and its not stupid, to do what I did.
but I am no angel myself. I'm a human being like you, I like looking at beautiful things, I love gazing at gorgeous views, I do get carried away. I mean how can I not? I am literally boyfriend-less, except that I do have a boyfriend. I will not punish myself saying what the fuck is wrong with you or are you out of your fucking mind? Well I know, he's doing the same thing. How do I know you ask? Because like me, he too is a human being. We all like beautiful things. I will not shy away and tell you that I never asked "were you looking at other girls?", because who the fuck am I kidding? I don't do it no more these days.
I'm going through my mid-life crisis *LOL*. Well, that's a lie. Cause I am just being a girl, who doesn't know whether what I'm holding on to is going to happen or not, but if it does, then I am the happiest girl alive, but if it does not, at least I fight for it. Who knows what life brings us tomorrow? So I've decided to open my eyes, and keep on the look-out for beautiful things and gorgeous views. After all, I will not have a chance to do so when he's back, if he's ever come back. And I call this, mating season.

Gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself!
Have a little bit of fun in life.


Friday, 15 November 2013

Spread the love

Lately, I've been reading too many unfortunate events, be it here in London, or all around the globe. I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth, neither have I made enough to donate a grand for charity, but its the thought that matters.
November has been a children in need month in the UK, where inspirational people who deserved huge recognition have been doing a lot of activities to support the cause. There's rickshaw, there's concert, and its all in the name of charity. These children who has suffered a lot, together with their family, needs our help. You can send DONATE to 70705, and donate £5, or if you prefer to donate other amount than a fiver, you can always check them out at
Also, what happened in Philippines broke my heart. Its such a sad situation. It makes me angry knowing that all aids and supports were delayed for unknown reasons. These people queue up for hours for a bag of rice just to be turn away because there are no bags of rice to be give away. If you can, please help them and donate £5 by texting DONATE to 70000, if you're here in the UK. Please check your local news for information on how to help them fast.  
Every morning, on my way to work, I always cheer myself up by reading hundreds of unread messages from my whatsapp group, because obviously there's 8 hours different between me and them, hence hundreds unread messages. This morning was a bit different, because I saw a friend of mine was trying to help a friend of her friend, to raise money for her poor baby girl. The poor girl need a surgery for heart failure. The little girl is not even 2 years old. So lets help as much as we can. Information can be found below:

We don't know what tomorrow will bring us. Who knows if we need the same help in the future. Let's hope whatever that we donate, and however much that we can give, will help these poor families to survive the test, and glorified in the end, InsyaAllah.  
Lets spread the love by spreading the cost.

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

happy spell

I aint gonna lie, its not easy to be happy, BUT also at the same time, its so damn easy to be happy. the trick? your feelings are your choice! you either want to be happy, or you don't! simple.
how I choose to be happy?
10. I love staying at home when I feel like staying at home. it makes me happy doing nothing. at some point, i do get bored, but happily bored. Bullshits about go out try living for once, and be happy are proper bullshits. If I don't feel like going out, then I will not. Call me boring or whateva, cause I simply don't give a fuck!
9. I complaint a lot, cause that's just life. if I bottle it up, it will explode, now we don't want that do we? let go whatever feelings you have inside of you. you'll feel more at ease.
8. be nice when you have to, and don't even try to be one when the other party is not. see, I don't do "play nice and people will play nice to you too". bullshit! if you're annoying, then you're annoying. its up to me whether I like you or not, you cant make me like you, like I cant make you like me!!
 7. gossiping! well, you don't gossip alone don't you? gossiping means chill out with your close friends. do I feel happy bitching about someone else? tell me who doesn't? but what I don't do is to keep it as a secret, cause my memory space is worth more than some stupid gossips. sometimes, friends drifted apart but thats life. sometimes, friends dumped you but its ok. sometimes, friends forget that you need them like you've been there for them, but fuck it. when it comes to friends, be the bigger person, forget it and move on.
6. giving people the satisfaction they "desire". especially people who are a bit of a pain in the ass. I will not be raining on your parade mate, but damn you're just so full of yourself it makes me loath you and at the same time, happy watching you glutted with your "desired" satisfaction.
5. talking to my loved ones. I live so far away from my family, and currently, so is my umpy. daily dose of talking to umpy makes me happy. we still fight, especially at the thought of our uncertainties. its easy to go out and find a man, but its not easy to find a man who can make you laugh, and cry at the same time. 8 hours difference means I can only talk to my family over the weekend, but its ok, its the sacrifices that I've made because of my own choice. 
4. love what you do. I love my job (there's a significant different between my job and my EMPLOYER) regardless. I love playing dress up, I am no fashion student or designer or fashion expert, but I love my wardrobe. I love my music and I love rock n roll, I dance to it at times, like in the morning while getting ready to go to work, or over the weekend while cleaning up. I can feel the happiness in myself when I actually enjoying doing these things.
3. learn to love yourself. I am not perfect. but if I don't love myself, who will. if they don't love you, they're at lost, not you. I can wear 5 inches of foundation to cover up my pimples, and go to the gym to be skinny, but I don't want to. I was born with a problematic skin, and as long as I'm healthy, I don't think I want to waste even 5 secs of my life trying to impress people, let alone hours of make up and gym time. don't get me wrong, I'm not against those promoting healthy lifestyle by going to the gym, I respect you lot for that, but in all honesty, I don't even think about going anywhere but home after 8 fucking working hours. and waking up 2 hours early to get ready in the morning, 30 minutes shower and 1.5 hours to do make up, I love sleeping too much, so I have to passed on that thought!  
2. its so cliché but its true, be yourself. I mostly don't care what people think about me. cause if I am good at what I do, or if I am good at being who I am, I don't think people will complaint. its common sense. but if they still cant accept me, too bad, cause in all honesty, I really don't give a fuck.
1. seriously...JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT and be happy about it! Just do it. I saw this one blog, and she said this, and I was like "hell yeah man!". Just do whatever fuck that you want, well as long as you know your boundaries. But the "I wanna wear shorts", but then you're wearing a hijab, like WTF are you thinking? made your mind up! You can wear either or, not both you idiots!! even if its still "i do what i want" thingy, but this is pure stupidity. ure inviting people to judge you, and then complaint! are you THAT stupid? here's the right way to say it "JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT AND BE SMART ABOUT IT".
there's no secret in how to be happy. its a choice. you either want to be happy or you want to be miserable. there's time when I do feel sad, but i pick myself up and move on. cause life doesn't wait for you. happiness doesn't come to you. especially when you're thousand miles away from home, life can be tough. but its my choice. and with that choice, i choose to be happy!
true that!

Friday, 18 October 2013

i love happy ending

don't we all are..
Typical daily acts of happy endings always make me smile..
1. while waiting for the bus, across the street, one bus is approaching, and the lad is few miles away. he literally run like that's the run of his life to catch the bus..and he did it! yay.
2. walking into the platform, I can see people coming out of the train, so I ran my ass off, and hold the door with my bare hands. BOOM! I am on the train, noticing smirks from other passengers' faces. Fuck you, I didn't asked u to hold the door for me ho!
3. the last seat on the train. well happy ending for the one who got the seat, and not so much for the other who has gotta stand.
4. was late to work. rushing from getting ready to walking from the tube to the office. got to the office, the boss is not in yet, YES! got an extra one hour sleep, and didn't get caught for being late. is that the best happy ending or what?
5. coffee and biscuits in the morning when your stomach is growling so loud that a person next to you can hear it, its embarrassing. got to the office, put the kettle on and relax, everyday morning happy ending before the day got shit-er..

oh happy days...