trying to be strong

i am not strong, but i try. they see me smiling and laughing, like nothing happened. i dont wish they know what im going through, as much as i dont want them to ask, whats happening. i want to be able to get through this with less hassle and with no pain in my heart. i dont want any sympathy. i dont need any empathy.

i hope i am strong enough the way they see me from the outside, but God knows whats inside my heart. only He knows how hard i try to be this strong. He knows what it takes for me to get thru this. i pray everyday that things will change. i pray everyday that He gives me strength to face the day. everyday i keep telling myself "everything will be alright".

my strength comes from my family. my parents always tell me to keep my feet on the ground. its hard enough to be far away from them, its even harder when things like these happened. its gets lonely sometimes, especially at night. times like this i wish i never had to stop working. times like this i wish i was at home with my family. times like this i wish i never fall in love like i used to tell myself before i met him.

it came uninvited, and it left unnoticed.

the hardest part is to get rid of traces that were left behind. the hardest part is to tell your heart that its going to be OK. the hardest part is to get thru life thinking will this ever heal. the hardest part is knowing that this is an avoided situation.

so why make it easy by crying your heart out when everything else is already at its hardest?

i am trying to be strong, its hard, but i am willing to try. i HAVE to try.

after all, my heart is tired.

after all, my hopes are sky high.

the rain will eventually stop and the sun will start shining again.

after all, it is what it is.

thats all ive got..

-lady-