The Funeral

Yesterday was the hardest day i've ever faced in the office. My boss's father passed away. A strong man like my boss, cried in front of me..literally cried in front of me, it broke my heart. You might find it weird, as an employee, how is that i get so involved with his family. But having working with him for more than 1.5 years now, i kinda know the family. His sons, his wife, his brothers..its like a family matters except that im uninvited. Well not like i invite myself in, it just happened.

It was just like any other day, except yesterday, he was extra happy, but its understandable because hes going on a holiday today. Him and his boys, theyre gonna go skiing at Megeve. Its normal for people to be happy before their holiday, especially as awesome as skiing at Megeve, yknw what i mean? It was a super busy day, as we tried to push everything before he leaves. I barely got time for myself since Monday. Workloads keep coming in, but its fine. Im used to being super busy. Plus, its always good to work as a team when both of us are in a good mood, and yesterday he clearly was so happy.

Up until late evening, he got a phone call from his sister. It was snowing (snow, sleet, hail, rain..u name it!) outside. So, I took a peek outside the window. We were trying to sort out some papers, basically i was there with him. So as i was staring outside the window, i can hear the change in his voice. Its that shattering voice like something had went terribly wrong, somehow i have a feeling that someone had passed away. Then he sat down, and actually cried, telling me "my father passed away".

It was heartbreaking. I cannot do anything but watch. I remember telling him to be strong, and go home. He cried and stopped to say "its ok!", over and over again. The strong man that i know, the boss that i looked up to, break down in tears in front of my eyes.

In the blink of an eye, the mood change. The room seems so quiet. Its all so sad. The whole building seems like a stranger to me. It feels unreal. Before he left he told me to not tell anyone in the company yet, as it couldve been a false alarm, or it might not be the case, but i dont know. People dont play around with death news. Its a terrifying moment of our life. Who wants to attend a funeral? NO ONE!

I kept it to myself. For the whole evening, i was trying to figure out what to do. Ive texted him saying "whatever happens, you and your family will get through it". I mean, i felt dumbfuck, like he is my boss! Should i text him, should i not text him, but i did. Sometimes i wish i was not in his room. I wish i was at my desk doing my work. I wish i didnt see him crying. I wish i didnt know the news. It was heartbreaking, seeing someone who you knew that long, be in that state.

8 hours everyday, for the past 1.5years, you tell me how can my feeling not get involved in such a powerful and sad event like this one?

But Allah swt loves him more, and hes now save with Him. I hope they'll get through this difficult times by being there for each other insyaAllah. Innalillah.

Al-Fatihah.

Everyone hates the funeral..

-lady-