so after 3 years of celebrating the whole festive seasons with umpy, this year, its not happening. the last time i blogged, the arrangement was 1.5 or 2 months, the longest, but what can i do, God have other plans for me, a better plan! we have been apart, for almost 6months now, and i thought it should get easier by day, but i was wrong. it is getting tougher and worsened over this festive seasons.
i dont know what the hell is wrong with me, think i've never cried so much like i did for the past few days. i am not on my period, so no PMS. i am not drunk, so i am emotionally stable. i am not 40 yet, so i got 10 years or more for my menopause. i've been crying like a baby, its just embarassing. well, my room looks bigger than normal. its Xmas but my God, just what is it that they show on the telly i have no fucking idea, its that CRAP! it gets really lonely, its fucking gruesome.
for a man who choose to put his family first before everything else, what more could you asked for? i have options, to let go and find some other man, who leads an easy life, good job, stable income, but i dont want to. why would i wanna let go of someone who loves me and takes me for whoeva and whatever i am? someone who makes me laugh so hard, and cry so hard at the same time. if everyone else can handle LDR, i am pretty sure i can too.
since he's not around, he asked me to go on holiday. told him i am pretty tight this month, so he said dont worry about the money, he'll take care of it. but how can i, if his family needs it more than a "crazy woman who misses his man" like me. plus, its Christmas, and last minute holiday!? if my dad can just grow a tree with money in our home, i'll do it anyway! he'll do anything to makes me happy, although sometimes he's dreading to do so, but he will eventually, EXCEPT these two things,
1. He's scared of height and fun fair rides. so NO RIDES at any cost.
2. He hates my music, so an attempt to bring him to watch any rock concerts with me, will be a waste of breath!
my point is, so please bear with me if i keep talking about umpy non-stop. sometimes, i just dont realize that it just slipped out of my mouth. also, please stop me if i start talking about umpy too much, i know its annoying! i swear i know, like i am the only one with her man who's far away bla bla bla. I am genuinely SORRY if i annoyed you.
well, umpy obviously hates this!
"Well he's my blood
Well he's my soul
I get so lost out in the cold
Feels so far
Like this lone star
It gets so hard
When I'm missing you"
-lady-
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